Lessons I learned from Irene

Lesson I learned from Irene,

Lesson number one: “it could always be worse” is not something that 4 & 2 year olds can understand. We are the sum of our experiences. The experiences of two young boys who have been raised in a loving and protecting home, with many books, toys, healthy food, appropriate clothes and all of that good stuff don’t include hardship. So when we explain to them that while we are going on day 3 without power, in the heat without air-conditioning, without their beloved TV shows, without fresh milk and fresh food, that some people actually had trees fall on their homes and cars and have lost a lot, that some people have lost their lives, they still don’t get it, because we are all a sum of our experiences. And to be honest, while we adults know that it could be worse, it still doesn’t fully sink in and the inconvenience of it all makes one feel a bit sorry for themselves and a bit on the cranky side.

Of course I appreciate that no trees fell on our house or cars. And I appreciate that all we lost was all the food that was in our refrigerator and our two freezers, but boy, it was a pain in the rear end. So I’m glad it’s over and I hope it never happens again.

The last few weeks with the earthquake we have had and dear Irene, have definitely made me reflect on all that we have. We are so lucky to not have lost all of our belongings and to have stayed safe throughout it all. It breaks my heart that it got so bad in some areas that people lost their lives. It breaks my heart that people have to rebuild their homes. I want to help my children learn to appreciate. I know my boys are not nearly as spoiled as some other children I know. We definitely don’t indulge them in material things. In fact, we instituted a ticket-reward system a few weeks ago where they earn tickets for good behavior and doing chores and cleaning up after themselves, and once a week, on Shabbat, they get to go into a treasure box (where we have put stickers with “prices” on items I get on sale) and exchange their tickets for a treasure. Last week, we even made them see the benefit in picking out a “cheaper” treasure and saving some tickets for the following week in order to be able to “buy” a bigger treasure. So I hope that slowly and gradually, the boys will learn to delay gratification and to appreciate all that they have.

Another lesson I learned from Irene is that help comes from the most unexpected sources. People that weren’t even close friends and we haven’t known for that long, have offered and given so much help. It warmed our hearts and made us realize that there’s hope for this country and world after all. Recently, the state of our country has gotten me a bit depressed. It seems that people only care about themselves and no one is really willing to help others. We tend to blame the politicians for our troubles, but really, it’s the lack of basic courtesy and values that I see all the time that has been degrading our country. Our credit rating got downgraded, but really, it’s our values that need work. But, those helpful friends have given me hope again and I’m going to cling to that hope and try to see the good in people and in situations more often than not.

I also learned that I need to be specific about what kind of help I need. That people don’t all think and operate the same way. I realized that while my offer of help would be very specific and include offering a place to stay, a place to bathe, a place to store food, a place to just be, others might just say it in a much simpler and indirect way. So if I want something, I should specify what it is. The worst a person can say is “no”.

I learned that I hate hurricanes and earthquakes and that they scare the crap out of me. I don’t like them and I don’t like tornadoes either. Really, I would much prefer to live in Spring/Fall kind of weather, with occasional light rains, some sun, some clouds, and temperatures between 65F-78F. But I guess that might be too much to ask and I should just be grateful for being healthy, having an awesome husband and kids, family, friends, and all that we have. And I am grateful, for all of those things.

Oh, and the last lesson I learned from Irene is that we must purchase a generator!!!